Wednesday, September 27, 2006

The Alan Club

So we are in the playground a few days after the school visit. Everybody is excited because the Trundle is going to do an assembly on 'being old' and she has asked for old things - Dexter is taking in a photo of his parents, Miranda is bringing in a fossilised bug and Grandpa Jack is being a bit annoying because he will not come in to do the assembly, he says he is not old, even when he is. More later.

You could ask, who will join The Aliens Club? Well, after the fantastic triumph of The Science Museum - just about EVERYBODY. Dexter and me have never been so popular!
So we are all clotted together in a bunch and Dexter is giving out big badges which say, 'The Alen Club'. And Miranda comes over. She' s alright but she is a bit off since I won the trophy for her - don't know why.
'They' re rubbish,' says Miranda, picking at the plastic covering. 'AND alien is spellt wrong.'
I do think she has a point but I keep quiet.
'Dad would only pay for 11 letters, so I told him to miss one letter out,' says Dexter.
'The Alen Club,' she says and sniggers. 'The Alan Club. A club full of Alans!'
She starts snorting with laughter and Dexter is going to start a big argument. I decide in my new role as class trophy winner to be the peacemaker; so I give Miranda a friendly shove and tell her to, 'shut up'.
The Bug Club is in uproar.
'I'm telling!'
'I'm getting you done! ALAN!'
'ALAN! ALAN! ALAN!'
Mr Bagnall has come out with his whistle. Some of the baby-children run over and cling to his knees. He walks around pretending he can't see them. They are shrieking. I sigh, life was so easy then, I think.

8 comments:

Jude said...

Life was so easy back then Wilf, I agree. Just wait till you become really old like Old Trundle!

Addy- this is very well observed. Funny too.

Suzan Abrams, email: suzanabrams@live.co.uk said...

You like Miranda, don't you, Wilf? You secretly like her...like her...like her...

By the way, can't Trundle come to the 'Being Old' exhibition as herself? I daresay, it would suit her perfectly.

Wilf said...

I don't think I will ever be as old as The Trundle no matter how old I really get!
Thanks, Jude.

Wilf said...

Stop it, Susan! I do like your idea about coming to the assembly herself...

Anonymous said...

this is so funny. for a long time, Alien was my favourite movie. wilf's too young though to have seen (as was I, I suspect, but then this was in another country far far away). but a scary alien is far less cruel than a scary, scary girl you kinda like maybe a little bit.

hey, we're back from the science museum. there were FIVE HUNDRED KIDS and their parents/teachers there. it was AWESOME. connie burst into tears though when she discovered that bedtime was at 11.45pm. hugo (who was pretending to be eight though he was seven because only eight to 11s are allowed) became more and more hyper. jack (who was pretending to be 11 though he was really 12 years old) forgot to change his school socks before coming and almost killed us when he took his trainers off to go into the star dome. dad, who came as Responsible Adult Helping Herd the KIds, didn't turn up until 7pm, kept wandering off, and then was the first person to fall asleep.

first we had a show where they experimented with blowing up a marshmallow man in a space vacuum, then freezing him and smashing him to bits, then burning him with a blow torch. i liked it when he blew up. then we had to build a mars rover robot. then we had to look at the constellations in a star dome.

we slept in the Who Am I gallery, the one with computer games that test if you're a boy or a girl. the boys slept on one side and the girls slept on the other side. we brought camping mats and slept in sleeping bags. the floor was hard but it was great fun because there was a glass case with a skeleton in it nearby.

they woke us up at 6.15 to join an art competition - really cool prizes, but we were too tired to win.

we played in the launch pad for an hour then watched a FAB 3d movie with Woody (of Toy Story fame) telling the story, about astronauts on the moon. everybody agreed going to the moon was a good thing. Then we all cried because it was time to go home.

wish you were there, wilf. it's the sort of thing that would have been just PERFECT for you.

candy

Wilf said...

How fantastically brilliant! I really really want to go!

Unknown said...

Ah the price of fame, Wilf. No peace from now on.

Wilf said...

Yeah but Alan...